I actually don’t know which spiritual practices I full enjoy right now. I’ll dip my toe into reading the Bible, sometimes sing praise songs (I used to always sing and lead worship) and go to church (but sit in another room where we livestream the service). I find it difficult to do all of those things whole-heartedly right now. Singing some praise songs just hurts my heart and makes my cry-haven’t explored that fully yet. Plus, I work at my church so I can’t really take a break from that, lol, and they have been kind to me.
"What if a worship song that used to fill you with peace now brings a sense of emptiness?". Yeeees. I just mentioned this exact thing to my SD last month. It can be a lonely and unsettling. Onward, still seeking God, but one tiny step at a time.
Oh I felt so seen. Especially the part about worship songs. I had a praise and worship playlist that I absolutely loved listening to every morning on my commute and while walking around campus. Now it just re-triggers me and reminds me of when my church left. As an immunocompromised person, I cannot be a part of a community/find a new church/have fellowship, so working through deconstruction has been a lonely journey!
I totally get that, Ari. Deconstructing is lonely for anyone, but even more so if you're not able to have in person fellowship. Have you found online groups or communities to be supportive? Broken to Beloved has an online cohort you might like!
I’ve tried online groups but they’ve always made me feel more isolated (and give me migraines the more screen time I have). Nothing beats meaningful in-person friendships though. 🤍
"When you’re deconstructing, it can feel painful, frustrating, or disingenuous to engage in the same spiritual practices you used to enjoy."
When you're moving away from the practices you grew up with and deciding what you believe for yourself it can be exciting and liberating to know that you're not bound by teachings (and even Bible verses) you can't justify. But you have to accept on the front end that there's a lot of uncertainty and that it's an ongoing process. One that might often set you apart from people you care about.
I actually don’t know which spiritual practices I full enjoy right now. I’ll dip my toe into reading the Bible, sometimes sing praise songs (I used to always sing and lead worship) and go to church (but sit in another room where we livestream the service). I find it difficult to do all of those things whole-heartedly right now. Singing some praise songs just hurts my heart and makes my cry-haven’t explored that fully yet. Plus, I work at my church so I can’t really take a break from that, lol, and they have been kind to me.
I’m glad they have been kind to you. That sounds so challenging working at a church while going through some difficult feelings in your faith.
"What if a worship song that used to fill you with peace now brings a sense of emptiness?". Yeeees. I just mentioned this exact thing to my SD last month. It can be a lonely and unsettling. Onward, still seeking God, but one tiny step at a time.
It’s so relatable, right? Like when our beliefs change or our experiences reveal dissonance, that formerly comforting workshop song now feels empty.
Oh I felt so seen. Especially the part about worship songs. I had a praise and worship playlist that I absolutely loved listening to every morning on my commute and while walking around campus. Now it just re-triggers me and reminds me of when my church left. As an immunocompromised person, I cannot be a part of a community/find a new church/have fellowship, so working through deconstruction has been a lonely journey!
I totally get that, Ari. Deconstructing is lonely for anyone, but even more so if you're not able to have in person fellowship. Have you found online groups or communities to be supportive? Broken to Beloved has an online cohort you might like!
I’ve tried online groups but they’ve always made me feel more isolated (and give me migraines the more screen time I have). Nothing beats meaningful in-person friendships though. 🤍
Absolutely.
"When you’re deconstructing, it can feel painful, frustrating, or disingenuous to engage in the same spiritual practices you used to enjoy."
When you're moving away from the practices you grew up with and deciding what you believe for yourself it can be exciting and liberating to know that you're not bound by teachings (and even Bible verses) you can't justify. But you have to accept on the front end that there's a lot of uncertainty and that it's an ongoing process. One that might often set you apart from people you care about.
Yes, that is such an important point. Thank you, Rob.