“We were taught that if you both love Jesus, that’s enough. But frankly that’s not enough.”
A Surviving Purity Culture Interview on Divorce, Dating, and Your Sexual Ethic After Divorce
Welcome to Surviving Purity Culture, a mini-series of interviews with purity culture survivors and diverse experts. These are the full-length transcripts of the interviews I conducted for my book, Recovering from Purity Culture.
Today’s interview is with a woman I’ll call “Elizabeth” to protect her identity. Here is a line-up of this Mini-Series.
Experts:
Brittany Broaddus-Smith, a Christian sexologist: Purity Culture's Effects on Black Women
Bridget Eileen Rivera, an activist and author: Purity Culture’s Effects on Queer Christians
Sarah McDugal, an advocate and coach: How to Recognize Unhealthy or Abusive Relationships
Survivors’ Stories:
“Carrie”: prolonged singleness
“Nicole”: divorce and marital rape
Emily: dating and reconstructing your sexual ethic after the death of your spouse
“Elizabeth”: dating and your sexual ethic after divorce
Alisha: abusive marriage and remarriage after divorce
Hanna: vaginismus in marriage
In 2017 when I first had the idea to write a book on purity culture, I knew I wanted to interview “Elizabeth.” She and I grew up together—I actually babysat her and her siblings when I was a teenager!
Elizabeth is a pastor’s kid. From social media, I knew Elizabeth married young, got divorced, and was now remarried. And I was curious what role, if any, purity culture played in her early marriage and subsequent divorce. My theory is that purity culture inadvertently contributes to the divorce rate among Christians because it pushes early, quick marriages (so you can avoid premarital sex), before many young adults are emotionally ready for it. So, I was grateful when Elizabeth agreed to talk with me about her experiences.
In order to protect both the women’s stories and the material in my book, this mini-series will only be available to paid subscribers or members of my launch team. You can subscribe for $5 per month or $50 per year and support my writing. When you subscribe, you get access to all the previous paid posts as well!
Camden: Tell me about the timeline of your first marriage and divorce.
Elizabeth: I was married for five years, from age 20 to 25. We started dating when I was 15 and met at my dads’ church.