"I blame purity culture for my divorce."
A Surviving Purity Culture Interview on Divorce and Marital Rape
Welcome to Surviving Purity Culture, a mini-series of interviews with purity culture survivors and diverse experts. These are the full-length transcripts of the interviews I conducted for my book, Recovering from Purity Culture.
Recovering from Purity Culture is on sale for $12.49 on Amazon! Here are what some reviewers said:
“thoughtful, well-researched, and thorough, not stopping at a critique but continuing into the essential work of offering a path forward.” —Mara E.
“I highly recommend this book to anyone seeking a thoughtful and validating resource for this sensitive and sacred journey.” —Courtney P.
“encourages critical thinking and guides readers in rebuilding their sexual ethics based on personal values, not fear or shame.” —Ludi
Today’s interview is with “Nicole” on marital rape and divorce. Trigger warning: This post does include an experience of rape. Here is a line-up of this Mini-Series.
Experts:
Brittany Broaddus-Smith, a Christian sexologist: Purity Culture's Effects on Black Women
Bridget Eileen Rivera, an activist and author: Purity Culture’s Effects on Queer Christians
Sarah McDugal, an advocate and coach: How to Recognize Unhealthy or Abusive Relationships
Survivors’ Stories:
“Carrie”: prolonged singleness
“Nicole”: divorce and marital rape
Emily: dating and reconstructing your sexual ethic after the death of your spouse
“Elizabeth”: dating and your sexual ethic after divorce
Alisha: abusive marriage and remarriage after divorce
Hanna: vaginismus in marriage
“Nicole,” a 30-year-old single mother of three, told me bluntly: “I blame purity culture for my divorce.”
Nicole is someone I met online after being drawn to a post she wrote about her divorce. I was curious to explore the connection between purity culture, early marriage, and divorce in my book.
Nicole shared about her experience of getting married young and unprepared, a lack of emotional health, sexual pain, marital rape, divorce, and rebuilding her life. While her story revealed several different themes, I had to cut most of it for the book. In the book, I ended up focusing most on the Fairy-Tale Myth, using her story to show how it affects married people. Here, I can share our full interview so we can learn how she survived purity culture.
Buckle up, it was my longest and one of the most in-depth interviews.
In order to protect both the women’s stories and the material in my book, this mini-series will only be available to paid subscribers or members of my launch team. You can subscribe for $5 per month or $50 per year and support my writing.